


Look At Me

by shadowsamurai



Category: Babylon 5
Genre: Angst, Gen, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-23
Updated: 2012-06-23
Packaged: 2017-11-08 09:22:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/441666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowsamurai/pseuds/shadowsamurai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At first I could not look at her because it was forbidden; now I cannot look at her because I fear if I do, she will know the truth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Look At Me

**Author's Note:**

> Set after S2, Ep 11 'All Alone in the Night'.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I'm just borrowing things for a while and I promise I'll put everything back exactly how I found it when I've finished. Well, almost exactly how I found it. ;)

 

B5-B5-B5-B5-B5-B5

*'Even looking up, you were still looking down. Look at me, Lennier.'*

I can still feel her fingers under my chin, forceful but gentle. She mistook my downcast face as humility; now, nothing could be further from the truth.

At first I could not look at her because it was forbidden; now I cannot look at her because I fear if I do, she will know the truth. She can never know, even though my heart encourages me to tell her, my mind and soul know it is not the right thing to do. She must never discover my truth, my secret, because if she does, everything will change and I know that for now, she needs me as I am.

She asks me to look at her, but she does not realise that I look at her all the time, when she is unaware of it. I see her as no one else does, as no one else ever will, but she does not see me. An ally, certainly. A trusted companion, yes. But nothing more, never anything more. I live in hope that one day, things may change, but in my heart I know she is fated for another. I cannot say who, for I do not now. All I know is that it will not be I who will hold her while she cries, or enjoys the pleasure of watching her sleeping. I have accepted that I must watch another make her happy in ways I cannot, but until then, I will be here for her.

She worries that her change has altered how I see her, or what I think about her, but I respect her as much, if not more, than before. I see her as I always have, as a strong person capable of changing worlds if she so desires. But what she must never know is that even now, she is still beautiful to me. Flesh changes, but the heart and soul remain constant, and hers are the most beautiful I have ever seen. That is why I will walk with her as far as I can go, or as far as she will let me.

When she asks me to look at her, I do so with trepidation. If I am discovered, I fear all will be lost. She must never know that I love her with every cell that makes up my body, with every breath I take and every thought in my head. I doubt such a secret as that will remain so for the rest of my life, but for now, she must not know. She must think of me as her aide and her companion, nothing more.

FIN


End file.
